Sorry You Had To See Me Like This (ft. Lion of the Pines)

from The Signal Glittering Inside The Storm by Dug & Happy Tooth

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lyrics

(HT)

I'm scared of needles.
Don't want them to operate.
I've been feeble,
seem to need to see
a doctor's face.
They're just people,
we're all always guessing.
Side effects are lethal
we're fine just ingesting.
Tell em if my heart stops
don't bring me back.
That'll cost more funds
I don't think I have.
Find a sense of urgency,
it's an emergency.
I'm being honest
I promise
I didn't do this purposely.
Sometimes it hurts to breathe.
Went to where they said to go.
Hell yes, or Heaven's no.
My condition ineffable.
Intestinal,
which means I feel it in my gut.
A set of cynics get to visit
if I'm sick enough.
My generation's growing old with face tats.
We're in the same trap
with debts we can't pay back.
Why'd I say that?
I'm just a destitute impressionist.
In my revolution we execute executives.
All these rich faces
are the reasons why I'm poor.
Don't wanna live a life on life-support
just find the chord.
Afraid of hospitals,
might be PTSD.
Start to shake,
unstoppable,
thoughts screamin just leave.
Body probably inoperable.
I get medicine I don't need.
Surrounded by lots of folks
that don't actually know me,
I need exorcised to break the curse.
The experts lie,
and always need that payment first.

(Chorus)
No one really dies,
but the heart stops.
And I"m still alive,
with these dark thoughts.
Been a million times
through the hard spots.
And I'm still alive
with these dark thoughts.

(Dug)

I grew up convinced
I was irreparably broken.
In ways I felt so conscious
they could never be spoken.
Even when I vomited
that poison from my consciousness.
I couldn't face the day
without approaching it as ominous.
Maybe that's just me
but it seems likely it's the obvious.
The whole system
is dying but won't let go of the hostages.
When I'm done dissociating
I come home to only aching
Waking hurts and sleep becomes impossible
there's no debating.
Mostly blaming self for what I'm slowly facing.
or creating, and it's really who can say.
I don't bring this stuff up in person.
Here's a song of more complaining.
And I'm so ashamed
it's hard to listen back for errors.
When they quote it back to me
the gratitude is mixed with terror.
And I'm zoning out in public,
clenching on my stomach.
I would say something
but that would be disruptive.
They're already so disgusted.
They don't bother,
it would be awkward.
I'm still here
and it's a problem.
It's improper for a goner.
Giving up is just another plan I alway put off longer.
And I wonder if I'd even move
without all this subversion.
I'll make you all depressed and
that's my version of subversion
then it's curtains.

(Chorus)

(Lion of the Pines)

Go ahead,
tell me what I need.
Tell me that I deserve it.
I've heard it before.
That I shouldn't be.
Swimming against the current.
Letting it loom over me.
And after a while it's hard to see
the way to the bright side.
I would, if I could,
if I could,
if I could.
Go ahead,
tell me what I need.
Tell me that I deserve it.
I've heard it before.

credits

from The Signal Glittering Inside The Storm, released March 14, 2020

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about

Dug & Happy Tooth Columbus, Ohio

"The Signal Glittering Inside the Storm is not the Dug & Happy Tooth album that you’ll want to throw on at a party, but it is an emotional and personal album you can put on your headphones and get into some shit with. Sometimes that’s just what you need, and the Columbus duo are there for you in 2020." - Scratched Vinyl ... more